THE MOMENT THAT MADE HISTORY
Everyone is talking about Kendrick Lamar’s electrifying Super Bowl performance, Jon Batiste’s powerful anthem, and the spectacle that unfolded on the biggest stage in America. But for those paying attention, there was something else—a grand piano, painted with something more profound than just color.
That piano carried the weight of survival, of transformation, of a journey intimately tied to the woman who painted it: Suleika Jaouad.
I have been following Suleika’s journey for a long time. I learned about her story just before I had to face my own. A cancer diagnosis changes everything. The before and after, the way time bends and folds around treatment, the weight of the word survivor. I was lucky. I caught mine early. But the butterfly, the chrysalis—that metaphor means everything to me. Because survival isn’t just about making it through. It’s about what comes next.
Suleika Jaouad in New Orleans!, Super Bowl LIX
MY OWN YES: THE RETURN TO WRITING
Reading Suleika’s story, I see myself. The resistance. The hesitation. The belief that maybe the best of my work is behind me. That I don’t have it in me anymore. That the words won’t come. That I’ve lost the rhythm, the vision, the force that used to propel me forward.
And yet, here I am. Writing again.
After months—no, years—of stop-and-start, of telling myself that it’s not the right time, that I need to feel better, be stronger, be ready, I’m stepping back in. The same way Suleika stepped back in. With uncertainty. With fear. But with something deeper, too—trust.
1in400Trillion is reemerging, just like I am. Just like we all do, in our own way, after we’ve faced the darkness, after we’ve told ourselves no enough times that we finally get tired of it and whisper—what if I said yes?
I don’t know exactly what comes next. But I know this: I’m showing up. I’m writing. And I hope you’re still here with me.
THE TRUTH BOMB
“I’m so tired. I have to say no.”
Sometimes the hardest thing is admitting you can’t. Not because you don’t want to. Not because you don’t love it. But because the energy, the fire, the you—it just isn’t there right now. And for Suleika Jaouad, in the depths of chemo, that moment came when Jon Batiste asked if she wanted to paint his piano for the Super Bowl.
This was the kind of opportunity that, months prior, she would have leapt at. But life shifts, the body weakens, the spirit quiets. And yet, the story doesn’t end there. The story is never just a ‘no.’
THE JOURNEY OF NO TURNING INTO YES
Suleika has spent a lifetime navigating thresholds. She knows what it’s like to watch the world move forward while you’re stuck in place. To feel the days slipping through your fingers, the regret of what you could do, would do, if only circumstances were different.
And then something happened.
Her doctors gave her a little more time between rounds of chemo, space to breathe, space to remember what yes felt like. And in that window, the regret started creeping in. Why did I say no? Was it really impossible? What if I tried?
That’s when she and Jon picked up the phone. “Is it too late?”
And the response? “It’s not—if you can do it in thirty-six hours.”
Thirty-six hours. After six months of not picking up a paintbrush. To paint a grand piano. To create something worthy of the biggest stage in America. To say yes to herself again.
THE POWER OF LAST-MINUTE CREATION
I love this moment because who among us hasn’t been there? Hesitation. Doubt. The belief that we’ve lost our edge, our ability, our ambition. That we’re stepping into a room full of people expecting the version of us that no longer exists.
And yet, creation doesn’t happen on some perfect timeline. It happens when we show up. When we dig deep. When we allow ourselves to trust in the magic of now.
Suleika’s piano wasn’t just a painting. It was a symbol. Of transformation. Of renewal. Of every chrysalis stage she and Jon had lived through, both separately and together. And in a flash of inspiration, in the margins of her journal, the image revealed itself—a butterfly.
A perfect metaphor. A life cycle. A rebirth.
WHAT THIS MOMENT MEANS
This isn’t just about art. It’s about finding yourself again in the places you thought you’d lost access to.
Suleika’s journey is a reminder that ‘no’ doesn’t have to be final. That sometimes the thing you thought you weren’t strong enough to do is the very thing that strengthens you. That we can be on the edge of giving up and still find a way through.
Jon Batiste, standing on that Super Bowl stage, playing an instrument wrapped in his wife’s art, wasn’t just playing music. He was playing a song of resilience, of love, of the kind of second chances that come when we allow ourselves to step back in.
And Suleika? She wasn’t just a spectator. She was an artist. A creator. A force in her own right.
Sometimes, you just need a little more time.
WHAT TO CARRY FORWARD
When was the last time you said no to something you actually wanted?
Could it be that you just needed a little more space, a little more recovery, a little more grace?
What is your version of the 36-hour challenge? The thing you think you can’t do, but might still be possible if you just began?
LISTENING TO
Song: Butterfly by Jon Batiste
READING
Book: Between Two Kingdoms by Suleika Jaouad
Jon’s music, Suleika’s writing, and now, this piano—they all tell the same story in different forms. A story of resilience, reinvention, and the art of holding on long enough to find yourself again.
To the ones who think they’ve lost it—maybe you haven’t. Maybe you just need a little more time
READING
Book: Between Two Kingdoms by Suleika Jaouad
Jon’s music, Suleika’s writing, and now, this piano—they all tell the same story in different forms. A story of resilience, reinvention, and the art of holding on long enough to find yourself again.
To the ones who think they’ve lost it—maybe you haven’t. Maybe you just need a little more time
MORE ABOUT SULEIKA JAOUAD
Suleika Jaouad is a writer, artist, and speaker known for her best-selling memoir, Between Two Kingdoms, which chronicles her experience with leukemia, treatment, and the journey of rediscovering life after survival. She has written for The New York Times, spoken on resilience, and continues to inspire through her creative work, including her art and advocacy for those navigating illness and recovery.
Her story is one of transformation—moving through the chrysalis of sickness and emerging into something new. From her Life, Interrupted column to her community-building project The Isolation Journals, Suleika has created a space where vulnerability and creativity intersect.
Website: suleikajaouad.com
Instagram: @suleikajaouad
Book: Between Two Kingdoms on Amazon